What Solo Travel Taught Me About Life
Themes – Solo Travel, Self-Discovery, Existentialism, Uncertainty, Loneliness, Mindfulness, Friendship, Acceptance, Personal Growth, Compassion
“It’s not always easy as it looks to put on your backpack and get out of your house with no plans or whatever, and just sit in the mountains for days and nights, carrying all the uncertainties in your heart. And it does cost pieces of your life and not just money.”
In the last 2 years, I have travelled for more than 18 months, staying in hostels, meeting people who became friends, and more importantly, spending most of that time with the places, myself, my thoughts, the changing self, and the sides that the places ignited within me – making me unlearn and learn things again and again.
Though travelling includes several places, it’s less like several journeys and more like one single journey and path where I have gone lost, found myself piece by piece, and it still continues, perhaps with no end. And that’s what makes it scary, beautiful, and filled with life, all at the same time.
The First Half-Solo Trip
It all began with just one trip to Manali and Kasol, where I went with one of my friends, but made more friends, which then pushed me to face a fear of staying there while my friend had to leave.
We came together, and if I stayed, I’d have to walk all by myself to the bus stop, wait there all alone, find a hostel somewhere in Delhi, and take another 26-hour train, all by myself.
Though it looks simple and very much bearable, the mind plays its games, especially when you are travelling on a budget, and cabs and comfortable hotels with your own room aren’t a choice for you.
Carrying a 75-litre rucksack and another bag for the laptop, camera, and lenses, added to all the half-a-kilometre stretches of walking, becomes a little challenging when it comes to doing it all alone, while walking with a friend makes it a little more reassuring most of the time.
The Challenge Turns into Memories for Life
That was perhaps the first and tiniest challenge that I faced, but as I stayed, letting my friend go, the fun and enjoyment took over the fear, bringing friendship, bonding, and memories worth a lifetime that I wouldn’t have ever experienced if I hadn’t stayed and faced that tiny fear.
And with that, a lesson I learnt was:
“Fear is mostly in the thought of the future, while the reality is completely different in experience, which you can only know by taking those tiny brave steps. The fear remains until you keep thinking of all that could go wrong, while taking a step and experiencing it in reality washes away the fear, bringing you new sides of life to know.”
And that was the beginning of my solo travel journey, where I came with a friend but ended up travelling solo, which then became an addiction, a dream, a solution to most of my problems, and I was all ready for the next trips to come and show me better sides of life.
But again, there was a fault in my thoughts and expectations, and that was – whenever I was sad, anxious, or ruminating about anything in my life that hadn’t healed, I thought a trip to the mountains would help.
But I was wrong.
The truth is, things can’t be escaped through just travelling, as every wound remains buried within us, which, though it can be neglected by us, life will bring to us again and again – as a reminder to address it, to bring that change within, and to heal, no matter wherever you go.
Hence, while it feels like a trip could bring all the solutions and fix the issues, and it does always help, once you practically sit there with yourself and nature, the echoes of the wounds left unhealed grow louder through events and circumstances of life that would always remind you of something within that needs to be addressed and healed.
Though travelling won’t fix everything, surely, at some point, as you learn about yourself through your journey, it can make it feel closer to life and not just some wound to heal.
When People Leave and the Journey Feels Empty
Another harsh truth that I was wrong about and eventually learnt and later accepted was that you may not find the same people ever again, even though you felt like brothers and shared so much time together. You may not find anyone at all who matches your mentality, and you can get bored and feel like you’re no longer liking it as well.
And this feeling itself is the birth of a new chapter and lesson in one’s journey.
This is exactly when the brain and its tendency to push all its fear, seeking comfort and certainty, kick in, forcing you to feel like you must leave instead of sitting and facing that lonely, bored feeling.
But that’s only because you never allowed yourself to experience that, and there was always something to take your mind away from it.
But now, while travelling solo, there remain only two choices: either to leave, seeking your comfort zone, or to sit with that feeling, which could guide you to what remains after crossing that feeling.
Accepting the Silent Phase
So, as that phase of having nothing to do came, I sat with it – beside the river, while walking through the same lanes, going to and coming back from the same shops, eating almost the same food.
And even though it had been more than 10 days, I managed to sit like that for a few more days.
And then people did come. We vibed, shared, and travelled along to new places that I couldn’t have seen if I had not stayed.
The feeling changed into gratitude and happiness.
I saw different shades of the same sky, from a different altitude and terrain.
The new friends went back home, the lessons remained, and the journey continued.
This is not just a one-time thing. Instead, this is what happens when you travel alone.
You see it closely and live the wave of uncertainties, which brings loneliness and silent times, when you sit with yourself, think about things that feel like they are missing, and then something arrives with hope and motivation to make you move, explore friendship, places, and many more things.
And most importantly, it makes you adapt to the wave of life, leaving only the seed of hope that – good times are always on the way, and all you have to do is sit and not escape from the journey when your mind fools you into looking for certainty and comfort.
As I travelled for longer periods, around 2-3 months in one go, all these experiences and periods expanded and intensified, bringing a deeper understanding and acceptance of life and myself.
The Lesson
So yes, you may never meet the same people who made your journey beautiful, but perhaps meeting them again or having them always wasn’t the point at all.
Because you’ll find more people with whom you will sit, smile, laugh, share your heart and its vulnerability, feel the same connection and bonding, and feel yourself becoming the same happy and lively person.
And that would happen again and again, with different people, as they would come and go, leaving you one precious lesson -that the feeling of friendship, love, care, softness, fulfilment, and life have always been within you.
That you always experience them with different people who bring the same vibe, and that’s because it’s you and not just them.
Hence, you must realise it, accept it, let go of things, and let them come until you realise, and until the time comes when someone like you comes, sits, and stays with you to begin a new journey of experiences and lessons together from there.
The Main Mantra
The mantra is simple, and that is to just take that one solo trip, just to be with yourself and not as an escape or Tinder-date trip where you would meet someone, which will only be another attempt to escape.
Sit with yourself. Go through the joy and the boring phases. Face the boredom. Face fears and the urge to fall back to the comfort zone.
Realise your fears and anticipation are thoughts. Wait and experience for a while until days unfold. See the next chapter coming with uncertain beauty and lessons, and let the journey show you the path to yourself.
The journey will bring these exact challenges again and again, but in different forms. But as you learn just to sit patiently, do what you can, and let go of what’s not in your hands, things will change.
You’ll learn about yourself, experience that you can face it all and change, and as you change, life too changes in the ways it responds -just like a change in your tone changes how one responds.
And eventually, you’ll be ready for all that you seek and have been waiting for.
Life Is a Conversation
This goes deep -life is like a conversation with the self and the world, where, as you change, as you become more polite, better with the words you use, kinder with your actions, calmer with how you live, and as it becomes more and more constant, the conversation and response from life and the world too start to reflect the same.
And this is no magic, it’s life -a constant conversation within and around, inside your head, and spoken by tongue. So, do mind it.
GRATITUDE -The Changes That Travelling Brought in My Perception and Me
1. PATIENCE
After carrying bags on the front, back, and another in my hand for miles, waiting for buses for hours, not having food at times and just water, being alone with only utter silence in which everything within becomes too loud at times -after sitting and carrying all these, now it doesn’t hurt much to wait at traffic signals, allow someone else ahead in a queue, wait if food is served late, or by any means be made to wait for what I want.
2. NATURAL IMPULSE TO FACE UNCERTAINTY AND THAT WHICH I MIGHT HAVE FEARED EARLIER
As said earlier, after experiencing the beauty of life, friendship, love, and all that lies beyond the fear of uncertainty, boredom, and the urge of falling back to the comfort zone, I trust the wave of life, and see that the fear only remains in the thoughts.
Beyond that boredom, eventually, time changes to unfold something meaningful and beautiful.
All you need to know is that you just have to stick and not fall for an escape.
3. BROADENED FEELING OF LOVE AND COMPASSION
Just like we feel while leaving our friends and family and going back home after spending a considerable amount of time with them, now I feel the same way for the trees, rivers, animals, individual peaks, sky, and the view of the stars and moon, with whom I spend time, life, and this world in a much closer interaction while travelling.
I feel sad and sorry for every piece of land with which I had sat for so long and perhaps had a conversation.
The sadness comes as the distance seems to be increasing, and the feeling of sorry comes as if somewhere from within it feels like they deserve me to be there and share that bonding.
But with that feeling in my heart, I know I will come back to them again, so I keep walking.
4. HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED
Just like Christopher Johnson McCandless said –“Happiness is only real when shared.”
We don’t travel to run away or escape because you can never fool yourself with that.
We travel to expand our hearts, to love even more, like seeds. We learn to spread all the good we have learnt, and that is real travelling.
5. BECOMING
I live even more intensely, love more unconditionally, accept and hold the beauty when it feels like breaking, and I still continue with the same love in my heart for everything and everyone I have shared a piece of life with.
And gradually, a little, I have become what I could be, and I’m still becoming all that I would be.
It’s a ruthless yet beautiful journey.
If you liked this article, try giving a read to Philosophy Of Love – Meaning Of Love Beyond Attachment | The Naked Soul, where we have addressed some of the most frequently asked questions around Love.
How beautifully you have penned it down 🤩
Thank you so much.
This feels like far more than a reflection on solo travel, It is a quiet meditation on existence itself. What stayed with me most is the realization that perhaps we never truly travel to find something, we travel to peel away the layers of who we thought we were, until we encounter what has always been there beneath them. The journey outward slowly becomes a journey inward.
Your reflections on loneliness, uncertainty, friendship, letting go, and becoming feel like different faces of the same truth, That life is not about arriving at some final version of ourselves, but learning to sit peacefully with the person we are becoming. Perhaps loneliness teaches us to hear our own silence, uncertainty teaches us to surrender control, and letting go teaches us that not everything we love is meant to stay.
Beautifully written, quiet vulnerable, and deeply human. 😇
It leaves you with the feeling that perhaps the greatest destination was never a place, but the person we slowly become along the way. 🍂
Thank you so much for reading it and leaving such a beautiful response. I hope it reaches more and more people like you. Thanks Again. 🙂